


Second Chances

by alafaye



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-19
Updated: 2012-12-19
Packaged: 2017-11-21 14:00:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/598537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alafaye/pseuds/alafaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A simple philosophical question leads to a lot more questions for Steve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Second Chances

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jayeinacross](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayeinacross/gifts).



> Written for the 2012 holiday exchange at the LJ community "avengers_xchng".

Steve isn't quite sure how it's happened, but he's somehow found himself in a corner with Tony with no escape. 

He ponders how it _could_ have happened as he pointedly stares into his drink and not at Tony who is just at that point of drunk that he's just happy sitting in silence. Steve wouldn't believe it was possible, but there you have it. Granted, this has happened only once before in the entire time Steve has known him, but he has been assured by Pepper that it does happen more often than Tony and the press would have everyone believe.

"You need to loosen up," Tony says suddenly, startling Steve enough that he spills his drink.

"Sorry?" Steve asks as he tries his best to wipe away the punch.

Tony hums thoughtfully. "It's just--this is a happy party. Yet here you are, moodily staring into your drink."

Steve shrugs. There wasn't much he could say to that, really. Tony sighs and shifts, ending up slouched against Steve. "You do that a lot, you know. Silent and strong, aren't you?"

"I've learned that sometimes it's better to just sit and watch," Steve says. "It was how I avoided trouble growing up." Well, only sometimes. Other times he just couldn't keep his damn mouth shut and got into so much trouble that the sisters would lock him in the basement.

"Didn't say there was anything wrong with being quiet," Tony said. "Just...kind of difficult to get to know you. You know?"

Steve frowns. "What do you mean?"

Tony waves his hand, vaguely indicating the social groups that have formed in the later hours of the S.H.I.E.L.D holiday party. "You're really good at fitting with everyone, but having actual friends is something else. Mostly because you keep silent."

Kind of difficult to make friends when things have changed. He could fit in, no problem, because a lot of the people at S.H.I.E.L.D. were soldiers, trained men and women who went and fought battles of all kinds. But friends? Steve was catching up on some of the cultural slang and information, but it was slow going. A lot had changed. It was difficult to say what, but when he was with people, he would get so lost sometimes that he had to excuse himself.

"But I've got you figured out, you know," Tony says, interrupting Steve's thoughts. "You're an easy kind of person. You like to relax in the gym, but you do prefer a night just sitting near the radio, listening to the games."

"Hey, I've watched some on the television," Steve teases with half a smile.

Tony grins, remembering Steve's reaction to the huge plasma screen in the tower. "Yep. You prefer baseball over football. You like your steak raw and still get confused when you can't get it that way in restaurants. You love to go to the orphanages to help out. You are a natural leader and you have good heart."

"Is that all?" Steve asks, amused.

"I think so," Tony replies after a long moment. He leans back and looks Steve up and down. "There is one thing I don't know that I've been dying to ask. You know, because of the whole growing up in the forties thing."

Steve groans. "This better not be about sex, Stark."

"That's Tony, thank you," Tony snarks.

Steve holds up his hands. "Sorry, sorry. Go on."

"It is about girls, though," Tony continues.

"I knew it. Just--"

Tony holds up a finger. "Hear me out. I know that in your day, people knew about homosexuals even if the medical field treated it as a mental disorder. I also know that the nuns would have told you that it's a sin and you shouldn't even have thoughts about men. Everyone assumed that everyone was straight, yeah? That you had to have someone you were sweet on and if you didn't, you would soon."

"Do you have a point?" Steve didn't quite like the way this was going. He suspected that it would become uncomfortable soon.

"I'm just curious is all. Cultural pressure like that puts a lot on a person. But I've always wondered if you were straight because that's the way you should be or if you were straight because you were straight."

Steve frowns, but eventually gets what Tony is asking. He licks his lips nervously. "I...I don't know."

Tony raises an eyebrow, but smirks. "I knew it."

Steve rolls his eyes. "There may have been the assumption that you were straight, but at least in my time, no one was obsessed with a person's orientation the way most everyone is now."

"I'm only asking. From a scientist's point of view."

"You're not that kind of scientist."

Tony shrugs. "Maybe not. I still think it's a damn good question."

These kinds of conversations are the exact reason why Steve does not like to be alone with Tony. They had gone from fighting over the team, to Tony's place on the team, to discussing Steve of the 40s vs Tony of the new millennium. It often leaves Steve feeling awkward and out of place and wondering why no one makes just plain small talk anymore. It's all so...personal now. Not that Steve doesn't like Tony--he can be an asshole and is often a loose cannon, but Tony has grown as a person in the short time that Tony has had to work with people that were as messed up as he is. 

"Look, I don't care if you are straight, honestly," Tony says. "I don't. I just think that now that you are living in a world where you can be whatever you want--I actually heard on the news the other day that there are people who choose to not any kind of partner--you should taken the chance to find out who you want your partner to be."

Steve looks at Tony, confused. "Why do you care?"

Tony smirks and sips his drink. "That's for later, all depending of course. Let me know, though, okay?" He stands up and winks. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to find out where they've hidden the bathroom in this particular building."

And so Steve is left wondering what exactly Tony is playing at.

~~~

"Focus," Natasha snaps at him a few days later.

It's been quiet and they both have decided to take advantage by spending time in the gym. 

"Sorry," Steve mutters.

Minutes later, she growls. "What did he do now?"

Steve tries to look innocent. "Who?"

"Stark," she says. "Who else can distract you like this?"

He tries to come up with someone--anyone--else, but can't think of anyone. He sighs. "He just...he made a good point about something."

She raises an eyebrow. "Stark? Have a good point?"

"He does." He frowns. "Sometimes."

She shrugs. "Go on."

"He asked me if I was straight because I am straight or if I was because that's what I was supposed to be. You know, in the 40s."

She's quiet for a long time after that. Finally, she says, "It's a good point. You probably are straight, but who knows? What does it matter, really? If you want to be straight, you can be. If you want to find out if you're not, you can do that, too."

He holds the bag to keep it from swinging. "Everyone keeps telling me it's okay to be what I want. And I know this is supposed to be a liberal time for people who aren't straight. Only I keep seeing these stories about legislation and politicians and other countries where it's still a hanging offence. How much has changed, really?"

She hums. "That's true, I suppose. I think what's different is that you are free to live how you want. Sure, it may offend some people and yes, in other countries, you can get hanged for it. But now it isn't anyone's business. And while it may be difficult, you can move somewhere else where you don't have to worry about your neighbors looking down on you. There are plenty of people fighting to make sure you can live your life free from persecution or pressure.

"Again, no one is going to care if you're straight. But Tony does have a good point. You have the chance now to decide if you are straight or if you're something else. Some of us never get a second chance--why not take it?"

~~~

His choice gets taken from him. Somewhat. Only a little. (This he decides later, when he's calmed down and gotten to think about it.)

Tony decides that a small party for just the team is in order and somehow gets them all together in the tower one night. There's presents and food and alcohol and toward the end of the evening, most everyone is truly drunk. But there's a small decoration that has been bothering Steve all night: the mistletoe. He wasn't fond of it growing up and he hadn't become any more enamoured of it since. What's worse about this one is that Tony has stuck it to a piece of machinery--a robot really--that keeps it moving around the living room all night. It has a heat sensor on it that sends a signal to the computer part of it which will then signal to the robot to pause for a minute.

As Steve is leaving for his own room, he and Tony cross paths--Tony coming back from the bar with more drinks--and the damn robot hovers near them prompting some cheers for them to kiss.

Tony, for once, looks bashful. "Didn't mean for this happen."

Steve raises an eyebrow, doubtful. Tony shrugs and Steve sighs. The team is waiting, all eyes on them. Steve rolls his eyes and leans in to peck Tony on the cheek, but Tony, being who he is, turns his head at the last moment. 

It's nothing, just a dry press of lips. Except that it sends a thrill through Steve, all the way to his belly where something warms pleasantly.

Tony smiles and winks. "Not bad, Cap'n."

Steve clears his throat and leaves the room quickly. His thoughts and emotions tumble over each other, wishing that some questions had never been asked.

~~~

It's seeing Tony get hurt that makes Steve's final decision. He didn't have time to think about that in the battle. He made sure that someone had caught Tony as he'd fallen, the damage to the thrusters in his boots making it impossible for even Jarvis to pilot the suit, and then refocused on ending the fight. But later, watching from just outside the infirmary as the medical team kept Tony's lung inflated and that the pressure in his head was relieved, he realized that there had never really been any question.

"Figured it out?" Natasha asks as she stopped nearby.

Steve nods shakily. "Yeah."

She looks at Tony and then back at Steve. "Well, all I can say is that this better not mess the team up. Got it?"

He hears the threat, loud and clear. He swallows down the fear--of this, of her, of Tony. "Got it."

She pats his arm. "Good luck."

He half smiles, weakly. "That didn't sound like a congratulations."

"It wasn't."

~~~

"Hey!" Tony calls when Steve visits him in sick bay a few days later. "Everyone else has been by--where have you been?"

Steve shrugs. "Around. How you feeling?"

"Nothing, actually," Tony says. "They gave me some good shit. Though I am very coherent. How do they manage that?"

Steve shrugs. "No idea." He takes a deep breath. This probably wasn't the best place, but it was now or never. Literally. Steve was fighting the urge to run just now and he knew if he never said this, he wouldn't ever. "Uh, you said to let you know when I figured it out. You know, the, uh..."

Tony's eyes sharpen, assessing. "Yeah?"

Steve looks Tony in the eye, not backing down. "I do like girls, but there's a definite possibility I could like guys."

Tony smiles slowly. "Bi. Kind of figured."

Steve rolls his eyes and sits on the edge of Tony's bed. "Why'd you want to know?"

"I think you know why." Tony slowly, tentatively, reaches out and puts his hand over Steve's.

Steve lets out a heavy breath he hadn't known he was holding. He turns his hand, palm to palm with Tony's, and squeezes Tony's wrist. He looks up at Tony and smiles. "Glad you made it through the fight."

"So am I."


End file.
